The world is unfair.
I have a life experience that is bleak and bloody in the eyes of everyone. My mother had a relationship with a man who was said to have a certain reputation and status. She said it was love, so she was pregnant with that man's child. As a result, she found out later that he had a wife, but to him, she was just a mistress, and she couldn't rank among the top five.
The little girl was only in her early twenties at the time, and she was at the age of high pride, so she left alone with tears in her eyes, intending to break up with that bastard and become a strong woman to raise the child alone.
I don't know how complicated it is for a pregnant woman to have a baby in her womb, but I think the idea sucks anyway. And now it seems that she has indeed suffered a lot. Even now, she still laments from time to time that it is not easy to raise a child, although most of the blame is because I have been too carefree since I was a child.
In short, at that time, she packed a small suitcase, took nothing but a big belly and a broken heart, took a train for several days to the end, and came to another city to start a new life. I won't go into details about the twists and turns and hardships in the middle, but in short, the child were finally born with great difficulty, and they turned out to be twins, both boys.
If ordinary people they will be very happy to die, but for her, the joy also means that it will make things worse. It is not easy to support one, let alone two. In short, life is hard.
As a result, within a few days, the heartbroken man came to find her, but it was the man's main wife who came.
The man's reputation and status were far higher than imagined. It would not be an exaggeration to say that he was from a wealthy family, just like the kind of big family that is often played on TV to fight each other for a huge family property.
At that time, my mother was washing diapers downstairs in the rented shabby building. Because there was no running water in the house, the main wife went straight to the point and wanted her children. Although that man has a son, the blood of the family cannot be left out.
Listen, how high-sounding and disgusting it is, rich people have such fucking virtues, now he want to look back, why didn't he control his lower body when he was happy!
My mother was in a difficult time at that time. It is not an exaggeration to say that she was suffering from hunger and cold. Think about it, too. A little girl who has no experience except meeting a heartless man, has no money and has just given birth. Can she support two children? Putting it aside, if she doesn't follow what the main wife wants, she won't have a good life in the future. After all, her arms can't twist her thighs* (*to persuade or convince someone), so she had to agree with tears in the end.
After all, it was the meat that fell from her body, and she was reluctant to give it away, so she decided to keep one.
She reasoned she didn't want that bastard to take advantage of her, why give him two sons!
So my mother said to the main wife that she would go up and take the baby down, and a lady like her would not want to step in that poor place. Once upstairs, she finally resorted to an extremely simple but effective method: toss a coin to decide which one to keep.
This method is not commonly used in TV dramas nowadays, but she still uses a one-dollar coin to determine our fate. Indeed, art comes from life.
The result of the coin toss was that my younger brother was taken away and became the young master ever since. And I have been hiding with my mother for many years, live a life full of hunger.
That's fate... fuck it.
Of course, I've never told anyone about this. And they don't know my existence, and I don't even know what my brother's current surname is.
Since the first day I was born, I have never seen this younger brother who was born less than five minutes later than me, but he has the same face as mine, like looking in the mirror, but I think he must be much better than I am now.
I remember that after my mother told these things many years ago, I was very calm, and only asked if that kid looked exactly like me?
She frowned, her weathered face was still somewhat beautiful, she thought about it carefully, and said: It's still a little different, you have a small heart-shaped birthmark on your butt.
I really didn't realize this, who wants to see their buttocks in the mirror.
I asked her again with a playful smile, did the main wife give you money at that time?
She rolled her eyes at me, "Yes, you let me spend it all before you grow up."
I believe her, the money should have been given, but she definitely didn't take it, otherwise our life wouldn't be so hard after all these years.
It is the truth that people are poor and short-sighted. I am not ordinary poor.
After all, you can’t expect a person who hasn’t studied for a few year to start a company from scratch and become a big boss. Maybe it was possible twenty years ago, but now it’s basically hopeless. However, I have always considered myself a "businessman", a floating self-employed.
A sturdy box is my main tool for doing business, and the things I sell are good teaching materials for teenagers to learn physiological knowledge, and good helpers for middle-aged and elderly people to enrich their leisure life, from Asia to Europe and the United States, from white to black, covers nearly every field.
To put it plainly, I'm a pornographer.
I'm not ashamed of this profession, but I'm not proud of it either. It's just a means of earning a living. Although physical labor can earn money, but I make more money by selling movies. I also know that I can't support the wall with mud, I'm almost 30 and I don't have a serious job, but compared to the day when gangsters used iron sticks and watermelon knives, I can be considered "good".
In the past few days, the cold air has come suddenly, and the winter in this place is not as humid and mild as in the Jiangnan water town. However, in a few days, my lips are so dry that I can’t lick them. The more I lick them, the drier they become, the result was bloody.
At nine o'clock in the evening, I squatted smoking a cigarette at the entrance of a long street full of small bars and hotels. In front of me was a box full of various CDs neatly placed inside. When I got the goods, the old man promised me that it would be a hit. I'll just believe him. If I can't sell it within a week, I'll go back and report his place.
Looking up, the most luxurious hotel in the city is just across the road, and the brightly lit gates are full of famous cars coming and going. But at a distance of more than ten meters, I felt a little shivering in the cold wind like a mouse huddled in the dark. I looked down at the discs in the box again, and the naked woman on the cover couldn't warm me up. I wondered if I had watched these things too much over the years, so I became sexually frigid?
It's getting colder, and fewer people go shopping at night, and it's easier to download movies at home now, and fewer and fewer people buy DVDs. This business can't put up an advertising board in front openly.
One-third of a cigarette was smoked and one-third was blown away by the wind. I thought that in a few days I might really go to the sea to become a duck* (*prostitute).
I know someone, not a friend, but often come to my place to buy discs, especially heavy tastes, once I asked him jokingly, are you afraid of impotence after watching so much? As a result, he say that this is learning, like watching an educational film.
I understand that he only buys GVs, which are movies about men and men, because he told me very early on that he is a duck, the kind who specializes in taking jobs from men.
There are women who provide services to men, and men who provide services to women. Today, society is developing and human beings are progressing, and men serving men have finally been common.
Later, this guy asked me if there were any human and beast ones while flipping through the discs, and I was so scared that I almost dropped the cigarette from my mouth.
"Is there really someone with heavy taste?"
I was very nervous when I asked, and he laughed heartlessly, saying that he just watched it in advance, as a mental preparation, and he might run into it someday.
What a fucking professional! I admire him, sincerely, if a person can ruin himself like this, it is also a kind of courage.
That person half-jokingly said to me more than once that I could go to them to put up a sign, saying that I look masculine and watch a lot of movies, so I can work directly without training. I just laughed and scolded him "fuck you".
I don't have the guts to take on the job of "human and beast", but it is not difficult to sleep with a strange woman. When I used to be a gangster, I often slept with woman, and sometimes I even took off my pants in the toilet and had a cannon, without even opening the room.
At this moment, I was in the cold wind and my nose feels like it's going to runny from the cold, I think that might be a prophecy by him.
After another half an hour, there was still no one. I was squatting on the ground smoking the last butt of a cigarette, frowning as if I was constipated, when I looked up and saw someone staring at me not far away.
The man just got out of the car, and I couldn't see what he looked like because of the backlight, but I felt he is tall and thin wearing a coat, and I can tell that the coat is definitely not cheap, People dressed like this would definitely not come to buy discs, so I lost interest and kept smoking with my head down.
As a result, the man suddenly walked towards me.
"Qiao Ran?" He called out, as if testing.
I glanced left and right, with a dazed look on my face.
The man approached step by step, his eyes sized me up and down, his expression... how should I put it, it might not be much different from seeing an alien.
I think this face is acceptable. After all, my mother is not bad-looking, and the heartless man should not be so ugly that he can't be seen, otherwise he would not be able to caught my mother's attention.
But what does his expression mean?
I don't know if he wants to buy a disc, and I don't want to speak out rashly. He is hesitating, but he has already walked in front of me and looked down at me. He is really tall, so much I feel a lot of pressure. But in all honesty, this man is quite handsome and gentle, with the feeling of a business elite. But who stipulated that gentle and handsome people can't watch pornography?
I was about to stand up, but he squatted down, and then looked down at the dishes in the box. If I read correctly, there was a weird smile on his lips.
but seeing his posture, he was going to buy a disc, so I immediately got excited, threw the cigarette butt away and hurriedly started selling.
"What kind do you want to buy, sir? I have the most comprehensive ones, and I have all kinds of them. Do you want me to introduce them?"
Without saying a word, the man rummaged through the box a couple of times wearing his gloves, and then took away nearly a third of the discs without taking them out to look carefully.
I'm stunned, this big brother, I can't see that you are so...hungry.
"How much?" He put the disc by his feet and pointed to it.
"Ah... oh!" I hurried to count, and prepared to give him a 30% discount like never before.
As a result, he couldn't wait until I was halfway through the count, and took out his wallet from his coat. A row of gold cards almost blinded my eyes in the night.
He took out a stack of bills from his wallet and handed it over, "Is it enough?"
I had the urge to give him the box at the same time. People with such high needs are really rare these days.
"That's enough. I'll give you another..."
I was about to pick out a disc that had been backlogged for more than half a year and stuff it in for him, "No need." The man said, and then smiled. To be honest, his smile is a bit dark, which doesn't match his gentle appearance.
"Do you sell here every day?" He asked again.
This sounded a little awkward, but I still nodded, "Yes, every day, sir, come again if necessary." I don't need to look in the mirror to know how flattering the smile on my face is now.
He raised his eyebrows and smiled, his eyes like peach blossoms, but I had no time to care about it.
"I will." After speaking, he turned around holding a lot of discs and left, even his back was so chic. I can't help but admire: what a man!
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